When I read this article it was as though she had taken my brain out and smudged it onto a piece of paper… Or the computer screen. I know that in the end, the real fight to change is with the sufferer themselves, but our friends and family can’t just sit around and wait for us to make all the moves toward recovery; leave their room/house, dry their tears, pick up the fork, make a meal, even just speak up.
It comes down to us, but we CANNOT do it alone. The times I have been at my lowest (mentally) have been when I felt completely alone with my Ed: when it felt like no one could help me – hold my hand as I jump over the huge puddle on the road, take my handbag as I struggle with juggling it and my own thoughts and life, offer me a lift to wherever I need to go, grab another sledge hammer and help me break down the brick wall Ed has built in front of me…
Yes, we need to recover FOR ourselves, but we can’t always do it BY ourselves. If you know someone with an Ed, let them know that if they need some help getting through it all, you’ll take their hand, hold their handbag, drive the car, bring a sledgehammer… Whatever they need at that time. Most importantly, Make sure you keep that promise. If you can’t keep it, don’t offer it. Obviously there will be times you can’t, you can’t be available 24/7… The reason I say this is because sadly I have had friends offer help to me and never wanted to help, or couldn’t ever help when the time came. To ask for help in a desperate time and be turned down for it is the scariest, loneliest things. Especially when it’s a recurring event.
Anyways, I’ll get off my soapbox now.
Read the article. Read it now. You know you want to! 😉
‘They have to want to change, they have to be ready to change, no one can make someone recover, we can’t save everyone, it has to come from them and if they aren’t willing to cooperate then we cannot help them.’
Noncompliant. Difficult. Chronic. Treatment resistant. Non cooperative. Unwilling.
If someone wants something then they reach for it don’t they? If someone wants something then they make decisions which are reflected in their choices, right? Well, yes. Yes, in many different areas of life that is what happens but with anorexia that isn’t how it works; I wish it were!!
Whilst treatment providers wait for people to ‘choose’ recovery, be ‘motivated’ to make changes, ‘comply’ with treatment and ‘cooperate’ with a programme, those people become more and more unwell. Of course this means that the illness has more time to infiltrate a mind, destroy a body and suck all hope from a soul…
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